For Better or Worse

Her greatest challenge lies ahead of her still.  The cancer, the divorce, the tumors, the death of spouses, the trauma of a daughter – those pains, while tearing at the very fabric of her existence still had a degree of control running in the background.  Now, nearly immobilized in an assisted care facility with limited function to the point of not being able to even ask for help, even the idea of control has been taken from her.

Her constant in all those trials has always been her faith in Jesus, her greatest weapon of reason – little more than a relationship with the God of creation.  That relationship bore fruit, much fruit.  She has a direct line with Christ, they talk, and He listens.  He talks, and she hears.  Today however, that relationship seems to have gone cold.  The visible evidence of a loving communication path is not so evident and I have to believe it is still there, running at a frequency that I’m not privileged to; not in this life anyway.

What appears to me as a lonely existence held captive in a failing clay jar is perhaps the most abundant life possible to her?  I can only see a small portion of the plan and I believe that in her silence and confusion, the mysteries of life are already being shared.  Her friend, the one who carried her through trials unimaginable, still carries that burden, still calms her fears, and still assures her that her work will continue to bear much fruit.

I don’t know how Sherry manages to balance all this, her depth of compassion, her sorrow, anger and joy all befuddled by the challenges of both a special daughter and now a most special mother.  Its truly a task of selfless love and I stand amazed at the woman who married me, who remains married to me, and who promises to remain married to me for better or worse.  Perhaps she’s learning yet another ironic lesson from God that nestled in that marriage vow the idea of “worse” is in actuality the essence of the idea of “better”.  It’s through “worse” that “better” receives its glory like through evil, good may exist.  For mom, it’s through this silent helpless period that certain greatness is being displayed, not one we can see with our eyes but perhaps one we can see with our heart.

Her greatest challenge lies ahead of her and this time she has no control.  This time however, she does not need to be brave or strong or even confident.  This time she need only follow.


  1. Beautifully written. Her impact of faith is quite a legacy.

  2. Thanks, David. I too, am watching my spouse and his siblings love their mother unconditionally through the stages of Alzheimers. A slow grief process.
    I love how you honor Sherry.
    And the wisdom in the "worse" is better..... A thought for me to chew on today. Thanks!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Small Wafer That Killed Me

Being Fed With Stone Soup

Empty Rooms, Full Hearts